Online shopping is hugely convenient but personally I’m glad that there is still such a thing as Christmas shopping...in the shops! I’ve always enjoyed a bit of ‘hustling and bustling’ from shop to shop with others obviously preparing for the big day, looking for food and gifts and decorations and all the rest of the Christmas trappings
Yesterday when I was exchanging a faulty product, the shop assistant asked me the date. ‘I can’t believe it’s December already, ‘ she said! ‘So you’re probably not planning to cook Christmas dinner for eight next week then?’ I asked her. ‘Nah,’ she laughed, ‘my mum will do that, all I’ve gotta do is eat it!’ In our case it wll be the same this year. Thanks to our daughter and son-in-law, both excellent cooks, all we shall have to do is eat our Christmas dinner!
Sometimes I think there are only two types of people at family Christmases – the Christmas makers and the Christmas takers. In successful Christmases, I believe there are always both. The success lies in the flexibility of the participants to share their roles so that everyone gets a turn at both giving and receiving. Everyone has been at some Christmas or other event where the same person or people prepare, cooks, clears up and washes up – and the ‘entitled’ others leave with little or no awareness or expression of appreciation of what this gift they have received has cost the givers. Similarly we all know places where the kitchen is a private domain and offers of help or support or even appreciation are dismissed on principle by people who don’t like to share their role as givers’ – to give someone else the chance to take delight in the giving role which, we Christians say, is more blessed than the receiving role!
However the roles are balanced out, we always found that the most successful Christmases are created when there’s appreciation between the receivers and the givers – recognition and appreciation for receivers of all the thought and planning and energy that goes into a successful Christmas. Appreciation from the givers of the other gifts offered creatively: sociability, good humour, thoughtfulness, a party spirit - gifts most people can give even if they can't make a cake, bring a bottle or do the washing up! Mutual gratitude and appreciation can make the difference between the givers feeling like slaves or like queens and kings!
Talking of queens and kings makes me think of a poem by Kaitlin Hardy that I’ve been reading and re-reading throughout Advent. I don’t know its title but it’s about the ultimate Christmas maker - someone without whose consent the first Christmas would never have happened. What this poem concentrates on is the pure physical cost of the gift of her body in bringing forth the Christ child – a gift which all mothers give to their children – but for Mary was a gift which had an impact far beyond her wildest dreams. A gift for which, as this poem suggests, she is not always fully appreciated!
Since our kids and grandkids could speak we have used the simple grace, ‘For every cup and plateful, God make us truly grateful’. In a world where there is so much to worry about, the gift of gratitude can be understandably hard to come by. But there is also for us, particularly in the first world, much to be grateful for. We're particularly thankful to and for those who have journeyed through our 2024 blogs with us. We’ll probably have a week off over Christmas so here’s wishing you all the gift of gratitude at Christmas and in 2025.
Here's Kaitin Hardy's poem...
Sometimes I wonder
if Mary breastfed Jesus.
if she cried out when he bit her
or if she sobbed when he would not latch.
and sometimes I wonder
if this is all too vulgar
to ask in a church
full of men
without milk stains on their shirts
or coconut oil on their breasts
preaching from pulpits off limits to the Mother of God.
but then i think of feeding Jesus,
birthing Jesus,
the expulsion of blood
and smell of sweat,
the salt of a mother’s tears
onto the soft head of the Salt of the Earth,
feeling lonely
and tired
hungry
annoyed
overwhelmed
loving
and i think,
if the vulgarity of birth is not
honestly preached
by men who carry power but not burden,
who carry privilege but not labor,
who carry authority but not submission,
then it should not be preached at all.
because the real scandal of the Birth of God
lies in the cracked nipples of a
14 year old
and not in the sermons of ministers
who say women
are too delicate
to lead.''
-Kaitlin Hardy
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